From In-Person to Virtual: Head, Heart, Hands

We at Kardia Group have been a distributed/virtual organization for many years now. We didn’t start that way, though. Originally we were all physically located in AZ: Diana, me, and one part-time employee. We went distributed essentially because we wanted the “right people on the bus” but the right people didn’t happen to live in AZ. (Or, in one case, the person did live in AZ but moved away.) So we developed the infrastructure and skills to maintain good working relationships across distance and time zones. In the process, we have learned a thing or two, or even three.

In this first post, I look at two important matters related to our humanness. These are highly relevant to working with teams, and to family/friend connections; but they are good things to keep in mind for online classes, too. Beyond caring for our heads (our thinking selves), we need to care for our hearts (emotional connection) and hands (as representative of our physical bodies).

Connection is more than just information

In our task-centered world, we often focus heavily on getting things done. It’s easy to miss how much in-person connections support us emotionally. If you’ve ever stopped in a colleague’s office for a quick chat about something (or nothing specific) and emerged feeling refreshed, you know what this feels like. It contributes to our feeling of belonging, too. It’s much harder to do this virtually.

Email

It is especially difficult to do via email. The emotional content of email is notoriously difficult to interpret. Emails can often come across as curt, peeved, insulting, etc., even when the reality behind them is more like rushed, confused, or even friendly. This is in part because we all read (and write) from different orientations and backgrounds. However, we often just don’t give any thought to email emotional content.

How to make this better?

Consider using emoji. Yes, I know they are cutesy and so on. Consider using them anyway. This practice will clarify for the person on the other end what you mean. It will also add actual emotional content and connection to the email.  But perhaps even more importantly, it pushes you to clarify your intent in writing the email. Even if you decide not to use emoji, clarifying your emotional intent will help you write a clearer, cleaner email. This kind of reflection is a gift to you and to your community, and will serve you well even when we go back to more in-person meetings.

Virtual conferencing

Virtual conferencing can improve interpersonal connection significantly. It is not the same as in-person, but it is much better than email or text. Get comfortable with it so you can use it adeptly. But note that virtual meetings are subject to many of the same problems that trouble in-person meetings: lack of organization, certain people dominating and others disappearing, etc. Moreover, the virtual format has its own quirks. For example, we know that many folks in in-person meetings are paying attention to their phones or email rather than the meeting itself – and this is even more likely in a virtual meeting.

How to make this better?

• Develop basic familiarity with the technology. You don’t want technical frustrations to dominate these sessions. So devote some time (yours, and/or your tech genius) to demystifying the platform, at least at the basic level.
  Use video where possible. Emotional connection benefits from seeing your colleagues’ faces.
• Consider how you run meetings.
  • Establish virtual meeting norms. Because it is a change, it is a good time to establish norms, or to change norms if your group can benefit from different norms. If this is not your forte, consult with someone who knows how to do this.
  • Make sure everyone gets a chance to talk. If you are facilitating/leading the meeting, have a plan for making this happen.
  • Take advantage of the platform. Virtual platforms have a variety of capabilities (chat, various signaling and polling functions, mute/unmute, screen sharing, breakout rooms, etc) that can change the flow of meetings. Learn about them, and use them strategically.

A largely virtual life is hard on the body

It involves even more sitting still in one place. Many of us were already well into the sitting-too-much zone. This will put even more pressure there. It also involves a different, and less variable, kind of attention.

How to make this better?

• Admit that bodies are critical to life, even in a virtual world.  Take care of your own body. Set an example for others. And, honor and allow for others’ needs in this matter.
• Build breaks into your meetings. Stop for, say, 5 minutes every half-hour, and suggest people use it for movement rather than checking email.
• Build breaks into your days. That is, don’t schedule things back-to-back. (Confession: This is possibly the virtual thing we are worst at.) In our full-to-overwhelming days, it can feel impossible to insist on time between meetings. It is not. This is another of those opportunities for self-reflection that will benefit you for the rest of your life.
• Standing desks? This works well for some, not for others. And it may or may not be practical or affordable. But it is something to consider.

Also see Why Is Zoom So Exhausting? in the Chronicle of Higher Education.

More

Our lives, our immediate realities, are changing quickly right now. We are keeping a close eye on how circumstances evolve, and what we can offer in support. Please take very good care of yourself, of your family and community. And feel free to contact us if we can help.